like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
