roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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