Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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