So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
