Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just found puke in my bra..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
