i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
