y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Mom said you looked used
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
