:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
