Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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