I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
