i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
