Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
