remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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