i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
