he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We have started to decorate penises.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
