I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Text me some of your sweat
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