did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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