If i come over, it means nothing
She announced her abortion via fbk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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