I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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