smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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