he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
