We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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