Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
