i just had sex bonerless
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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