I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
A+ Viking dick
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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