as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
