porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I would ride that face into the sunset
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
