But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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