at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
