Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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