she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
