What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
