update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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