it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
