I got chris browned last night
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
