did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
