worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
