Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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