we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
