I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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