i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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