yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
