so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
