We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
