Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
