i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Damn victory sex feels great
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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