So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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