Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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