there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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