am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
