i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
